School. For the past 15 years, school has been my life.
It's like a full time job, only worse because you have to come home and do more work!
Isn't it crazy the hours that have been put into school, homework, extra curricular activities, and study for exams? If I calculated it all out, I would probably cry a little. Like I said in my blog from last week, ever since my dad passed away, time seems much more precious than ever before.
I started out attending Ball State with a major in Special Education. I wanted to work with children with special needs, it's always been a passion of mine, since I was 10 years old. Oh how quickly things change. After my first semester, I decided to change my major. I didn't want to be in a classroom, I heard all the stories about mounds of paperwork, not my style. I scrounged around and found a major called Family Studies. It involved taknig classes like marriage, parenting, child development, and family relations. Sounds interesting right? Well, to me it did, until my sophomore year. I finished my sophomore year and I hadn't taken a single class on children with special needs. How am I going to get a job working with these children if I haven't learned a single thing about them? Off to my advisors office I go. I tell her I want to work with children with special needs but I don't want to be a teacher. She said the thing that all advisors at Ball State say, 'Well, I think you're in the wrong major.' Oh great, I spent 2 years learning about things that won't even help me get a job?! I ask her what major I should be in and I was hit with another punch in the gut, 'well, Johnny, that's a good question. I don't really know where we should put you.' Now I'm in a real pickle, I've spent time in this major but it's not really what I wanted, I can't just quit now! I've been thinking about my future and what I want to do and
people have been mentioning enrolling into a Masters Program. Ugh, sounds like more school, more money, more work, and more of my precious time down the drain. I found the perfect Masters Program, a degree in Master of Arts in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) with an Emphasis in Autism. I'm really thinking about taking the courses! It actually get's me a little excited. Now, this is what I really want. I'll keep mulling it over and thinking about my options, I want to help others, which I can do now with my degree, but I also wouldn't mind making a little more money in the process. Sorry this blog wasn't too super interesting, next time it'll be better. :) Anyways, thanks for keeping up with my crazy life!
P.S. I miss traveling. :(
Of course, my work computer is a peice of junk and deleted my entire post before I could save it. Drats. Anyways, I'll start over, and try to remember most everything I said.
Don't hate me for not updating in forever, this girl lives an extremely busy life by choice. I've been journaling lately, scratch that, I've been trying to journal lately. It's much harder than one would think. It seemed so easy in my head 'oh, just sit down for a little bit each day and write down your thoughts and feelings.' Yeah, if you don't know, it doesn't actually happen like that. By the time I actually get a chance to sit down and journal, I'm too tired and I just sleep instead. So, needless to say, it's not going too wel so far, but I'm not giving up. I'm writing it all down and then typing it because when I write, my feelings and emotions actually leave my body and are transfered into the ink. It's quite freeing actually. Typing just doesn't have the same effect. What a whirlwind of a week. So much seems to have flown by me and I hardly got a glimpse of it. I've been going through this phase where I'm in 'ultra freak out mode' about graduation/life in general. Is this what a quater life crisis feels like? If not, I don't ever want to experience that, this is enough, thank you very much. So, I'll admit to the stereotype before I begin: I'm a woman (O.K. maybe more like a girl but that's besides the point) so I enjoy blabbing and making very little sense.
The following paragraphs are me attempting to be organized. A few things going on in my life that I'd like to elaborate on; my stressful life, school, ultimate, love, and my future.
I most likely won't get around to all of them in this post (I don't want to bore you to death), so I'll save some for the next update, which will be 235908234 times sooner than the last update. First things first, my stressful life. I think I bit off a tad more than I can chew. You know, you're on a first date with someone and you're at dinner. Eating and talking, just having a grand time. You take a bite of chicken, not looking at it, and you end up feeling like you have an entire chicken leg in your mouth. Yeah, you know the feeling, admit it. You're thinking 'crap, do I chew this honking peice of chicken and loko like a total moron/ risk the chance of chocking on it or something equally as ridiculous? OR do I what? Spit it out? Go to the bathroom and flush it down the toliet? First impression: FAIL.' Personally, no choice is a good choice in this situation. So, anyways, that's how I feel right about now,
except take out the chicken and replace it with life. I have so much going on but I can't really lessen my load because everything I'm doing is 'important' or so the world seems to think. 1) I'm in school to get a degree to eventually, if I'm lucky, land a good career. 2) I'm working part-time so I can have a tiny bit of money and try (although failing miserably) to save as much as possible. I have $100 automatically put into my savings but, let's be real, $27 is pretty hard to live on for 2 weeks. 3) I'm also the captain of the Women's Ultimate frisbee team, the one thing I'm actually enjoying currently. Our website. It requires all of my spar etime which leaves zero time for 4) homework, let alone 5) the serious relationship I'm in. And oh ya I'm also supposed to be 6) finding a job?! Oh please, only so much this girl can do at one time.
I'm sure you've had enough of my rants and raves for one day, check back next week and I'll talk about the other 4 things in my life. It's safe to say that I'll probably just stick with one topic per blog. Until next week, read the website for my ultimate team! We're going to Lowell, Indiana this weekend for our last tournament of the season! Thanks for not forgetting about me.
To all my Faithful Readers:
Here is a small peek inside my brain. Enjoy.