I've had many people over the years tell me that I'm rude.
It's not really a surprise anymore when I hear someone say this about me or to my face.
I've tried to fix my little 'quirk' but it's been a bit of a challenge.
To me, rude is the wrong word, but doesn't everyone say that when they're trying to make
themselves sound less bad? Blunt is a better word to describe my social behavior,
at least in most situations. I have a hard time grasping the concept of 'beating around the bush'.
It is something that confuses a lot of people and can lead people into a situation that they
were not anticipating and most likely did not want to end up.
I over heard my mom once tell someone 'Don't get on Johnny's bad side, you won't like it
over there.' I just tell people how it is. A lot of people don't like that and I completely
understand and I do try to respect that. I'm just the type of person that would rather
know the facts straight out instead of having to take the risk of interpreting them wrong.
I know the saying 'leave a little mystery!' but I'd just rather not.
You get what you see, no frills, no extras, no hidden meanings, just me.
If you don't like it, you don't like it, if you do, you do.
That's just how life goes.
Of course I'm not some straight up jerk to people, especially when they need someone
to comfort them or a shoulder to cry on, but I do try to let them know the
truth instead of sugar coating everything. I don't really get why people would
want their life sugar coated into some imaginary perfect world.
Even with my friend RJR who was diagnosed with cancer a while back,
it was sometimes hard to give her the sympathy she deserved. (Hey RJR, pretty sure
this is the first time you're hearing this, no worries) I lost my dad 3 years ago to cancer
so every time that she had something to say my first response, in my head, would be
'just be thankful you're here, you're alive.' After a while I realized that yes, she is here and
alive and well - wait, no, she is not well. What she went through is unimaginable and
torture to her poor body. I had to try to put myself in her shoes and think about what I
would want someone to say in that situation. It took me a couple weeks to get the hang
of it but I think I did an alright job, at least I hope I did RJR.
So yes, I am blunt, I call it how I see it. But there is a time and a place for a little
softness on the edges of my 'harsh' social skills.
I'm still grasping the whole idea of it, but I do think I've gotten better, a little.
Any misconceptions about yourselves?
It's hard to talk 'bad' about yourself, but I admit, it felt really good.
Until another day,
I've always 'wanted', ever since I was a little girl with chubby cheeks running
around in my swim trunks that matched my brothers, and no, I didn't have a shirt on either,
my mom would tell me time and time again 'you want to much.' So then I switched it up,
'Mom, I need this toy!' 'I need a puppy!'
Need, Need, Need. Want, Want, Want.
Need, Want, Need, Want.
It all seems to trivial now. Half the crap I 'wanted' I didn't even want!
I just thought I had to have it because everyone else had it or because we were at
the store and that meant I just had to buy something, right?
I've grown up since then, just a little, and I've started to realize things I
want aren't things at all.
Right now I want peace of mind. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I'm a worry wart.
I've been reading blogs on Tiny Buddah about peace of mind and letting go and all
that good stuff. They actually have some really inspiring ideas (who knew?!)
A couple that stuck out to me were:
-Set aside a time to worry each day. Write down your worries in a notebook as they
come to you and forget about them until the designated time. Then, worry your little
heart out until the time is up. This will make your day more efficient and make your heart
and mind a little lighter.
- Have a 'worry' burning ceremony. I couldn't think of a clever name so sorry about that one.
Anyways, write all your worries down on little pieces of paper and set a flame to them one
at a time, taking a moment for each to really 'let go' of the worry. If you're not too savvy
with fire just imagine writing it down and burning it, but I like to live life on the edge. ;)
Peace of mind should always go hand in hand with a smile so read this
and check out a few things to get those pearly whites a showin'.
Be sure to check out my blog from a couple days ago, I went cliff jumping!
It was wild! Pictures and videos included!
Thanks for checkin' in today, if you can't tell, work is pretty boring compared to last week.
Yeah, my answer was pretty deep like always but I'd love to hear yours..
let me know something you've always wanted! And don't feel bad if it's a material item,
everyone can splurge once in a while!
Sometimes I find things on the internet..
O.K. I find a lot of things on the internet, thanks to StumbleUpon.
Seriously, click the link and try if out for yourself! It gets me through class
on a boring day, and most of the websites I find and share with you guys are
because of this program. Anyways, I found 2 awesome videos today that are totally
worth the share.
O.K. I'll admit it, I cried watching this clip.
I have a special connection with music and, of course, making people smile,
what better way to combine the two except in this awesome video?!
Yeah, it is a commercial and I'm not sure if the 'innocent bystanders' are actors or not
but I don't care, this is stinkin' beautiful.
And just so you don't leave my blog wailing and someone asks you why you're
crying and you tell them because of my website (that would take a toll on my viewers),
here is a video to get you smiling again.
Kids never cease to amaze me with their priceless humor and funny little
quirks. What this kid does is not a quirk at all, this is talent.
Just appreciating the little things in life, I hope you're learning to as well.
We can enjoy this little journey together.
Today I did it, I went cliff jumping.
It was my very first time and it was one of the best experiences of my life.
I have very few words to express the time that was spent in Bloomington Indiana
at the quarries. I'll post some pictures and videos to help out with the story telling.
We first arrived at the 'spot' which was a church parking lot where we parked the car
and discretely got our stuff together to make the forbidden trek out to Rooftop.
These quarries are owned by a limestone company and are completely off limits to
the public, except those rebels without a cause like us.
I was doing some reading about the limestone quarries and apparently the limestone
used to build the Empire State Building was taken from right where we were headed.
There are also no directions online to the quarry, since it is 'illegal' to go there
all the information is spread by word of mouth as to how to reach Rooftop.
Luckily, I was going there with a friend of mine who had been before.
The winding abandon paths to the quarries were breathtaking, trees shading the
gravel walk with the sun peeking through was surreal.
Right as your legs start to wonder when you'll ever reach your off-limits
destination, you round the bend to the 'beach'. The beach is an area where
you can go to chill and swim around, think of it as your first quarry experience.
You get a feel for the aqua blue water as well as the nasty sludge at the bottom.
Shoes are a must so it's good to practice swimming while lugging around some
tennis shoes attached to your tootsies. DB and I didn't spend much time at the
beach, we were craving the rush of the jump. He took my back to Rooftop and
I went nuts. This place was so amazing. Again, the water was the perfect blue you'd
see in a travel magazine, not to mention the beyond fabulous temperature once you
finally took the plunge in. One thing that I thought was bizarre was the the place was deserted! Yeah, it's trespassing to go there but it's right next to IU's campus, tons of college kids should be out there! I guess it is summer so most of the hooligans are gone for the next month. I had to admit it was a tad creepy with no one there. There were 4 jumps to choose from in this particular
quarry. Jump I: 20ish feet Jump II: 23ish feet Jump III: 30ish feet and
Jump IV (Rooftop): at a soaring 65 feet. Not much of an in between, eh?
I started with the 20-footer and never looked back. DB and I had a blast jumping
and flipping from the limestone cliffs. We had even more fun when random groups of
people showed up to join! Everyone went straight to Rooftop and kind of freaked out,
we convinced them to come down with us and jump a few times before heading up to
the big guy. Sadly I never made it up to Rooftop, I hiked up and looked over the edge with no intentions of jumping, it didn't actually seem that scary. I think I'll try it next time, you only live once! This is already quite a long post so I'll sum up the people we met quickly.
First group: 3 random dudes from Boston (?!) who were on their way back from
a road trip to Utah. These guys were crazy, like probably medically unstable or something.
So fun to hang out with them, such a motley crew. Second group:
2 guys and a girl. Really nice people, did a group jump with us! They were from Indy,
just lookin for some fun. I'd say they chose the right place. Last Group: 2 gangly
lads. One of them was there for the first time and the other was a vet to the area,
showing him around. Jumping off a cliff with 5 people you just met is probably the
greatest way to start a friendship. I don't know if I'll ever see those people again;
but for now, I can say that they're the only people I've jumped off a cliff with.
I don't think I'll be able to say that again come next weekend, I've got an
itch for some more cliff jumping.
I think I have finally come to accept my internship and all the things that come with it.
Yes, the hours are sucky. Yes, I do not get paid, at all. Yes, it is physically tiring day in
and day out. But the reward for helping people who genuinely need help is priceless.
Lately, my boss and I have been working side by side with the clients instead of
setting up their apartments before they get to America.
Knocking on the apartment door and seeing their apartment furnished with
a few folding chairs and a blanket on the ground is heart-breaking.
It never lasts though because as soon as we start hauling in loads of goodies
the party starts. When we first meet the clients they are usually timid and doe-eyed,
watching from a distance as we carry in boxes of food and necessities.
As time goes on and more furniture gets brought in they seem to loosen up
and enjoy our presence. The language barrier is pretty thick but we seem to manage
with hand signals and, of course, smiles. It can be exhausting carrying in furniture
to 4 different apartments in one day, but I always sleep easier knowing that
a family now has their own beds and food in their bellies because of something I
contributed to. Although, I'm more than ready to get this internship finished with,
I'll soak up all the smiles while I'm here.
My weekends have continuously been amazing and always too short.
I'm in Muncie currently enjoying the 4th of July festivities with the boys.
August 1st can't get here soon enough, I miss it up here!
I also got a job! My friend HVM hooked me up with a secretarial job
at the international office starting August 1st. It's humbling pay and not many
hours but it's better than nothing. I am so thankful that she found me a job, I was
really starting to stress out about it. I should know by now to stop worrying because
if it's supposed to happen, it will, somehow.
BHW, my boyfriend, has also applied to work for AmeriCorps in Muncie starting
in September. 150 people applied for the position, and there is only one spot to
fill. Fingers crossed that he gets the job. If he does, he will be able to live in Muncie
while they provide him with a monthly stipend of $1000.
He is very excited about the position, and he deserves it so much, I'm praying
that he will get accepted. I'll let you know how that turns out when we find out.
That's all for today, I'm going to go enjoy the beautiful weather and wait for the sun
to set so I can see some fantastic fireworks!
I hope you all have been enjoying this long weekend with your family, cherish
this time that you have with them.
To all my Faithful Readers:
Here is a small peek inside my brain. Enjoy.